If you somehow missed this article that has been circling social media, you must read it NOW. After reading and laughing aloud, I realized why I always ask Ray to make dinner more often when we discuss ways he could do more at home (more on that in a bit).
To be fair, Ray would LOVE to be home more. While a friend from Cleveland was here visiting he told Ray that since he works from home he can easily pop into his son’s school or have lunch with him. Ray was envious and I know it’s because we can both easily picture Ray in this role.
I certainly carry the mental load and that’s why I’m stressed out even if I have nothing I really need to get done on a particular day. I know I multi-task, get things done quickly and have multiple projects going on at the same time. They all get done and then there is more. Meanwhile I’m basically running the household. It’s strange to think that Ray and I truly have a traditional marriage. But I know he appreciates what I do, he never asks for more and I like taking care of my family.
Back to making dinner. I like cooking. I like trying new recipes. I don’t mind going to the grocery store. So why do I always choose making dinner as a task I want to pass on to Ray? It’s because of the MENTAL LOAD. Think about it. In order to make dinner you need to figure out what to make (for me that involves browsing Pinterest for ideas), schedule time in your day to get the groceries, figure out when to start making dinner based on when everyone will be home to eat and LASTLY actually make the dinner. That’s why sometimes it seems like it can take all day just to make dinner. If you aim to cook at least five days a week like I do, then that’s a lot of mental prep.
Maybe sometime in the not so distant future Ray and I will reverse roles. Ray will work from home and I will work full time in an office. I know things won’t be done at home the exact same way I do them now. But I’m ready to be more flexible so we can have a better work life balance. And maybe Ray can carry more of the mental load.